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When I speak to women of color in the academy, regardless of their discipline, I hear similar stories. Many of us expect to deal with sexism and racism in "the academy", especially when one considers that there are so few women or people of color (much less women of color) in most departments. This knowledge does not, however, prepare us for the sense of isolation that often accompanies this reality. Last year I had the privilege of attending a Colloquium of Black Women Philosophers. Imagine that! There were enough Black women with PhDs in Philosophy to have a colloquium! When reporting on the event the Chronicle focused on the number of empty seats. I, on the other hand, was ecstatic to find that there are 30 of us in existence, and about a dozen more in the pipeline. While these are not huge numbers, the implication of our existence must not be under-estimated. The truth is that the number of women of color acquiring PhDs is increasing, so we are out there and our numbers are growing. Not only are more of us getting PhDs and faculty positions, we are also becoming deans, provosts, and college presidents.

At this critical stage, it is important for us to create networks of support, share information, and let other sisters who are in the pipeline know that they are not alone in the struggle. The possibilities of what can come out of this kind of community-building are endless. Thanks to modern technology it has become much easier to traverse the boundaries of time and space allowing us an opportunity to network in ways that may not be possible in our work environments. I will share my stories and ask you to share yours. We will raise questions and find the answers together. You should also feel free to post information about conferences, job opportunities and any other information that you think might be useful to the community. Happy Posting!

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Please share stories of your graduate school experience. Whether you have crossed that river or are just wading in, there are lessons to be learned from our collective struggles. You are not alone!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Selling Out

I have been thinking a lot about my future lately, not only what I want to do but who I want to be as well. I have come to realize that I really love the work that I am doing, but I do not like the non-profit sector. I would like to work in college administration, I want to be the boss lady...Dean Buffington, Provost Buffington, hell maybe even President Buffington one day! The prospect excites me to no end but at the same time I have this niggling something deep down inside. It is not quite fear, but something that seeks to undermine my aspirations. I am afraid of selling out. What does that even mean? A lot of things for me. I grew up poor in the projects of Detroit raised by a mother who believed in giving until it hurt. I have always felt that service to others is my not simply a duty but a way of life. The problem is that in my heart (my head knows better), in my heart of hearts I believe that "good work" should be accompanied by pain. I believe that if I am not worn down, worn out, over-worked and under-paid I am doing something wrong. I believe that wanting more for myself is a "sin". I believe that idle hands are the devil's playground and all that jive and I am not even religious. I have the heart of a protestant without the biblical foundation. The real problem is that I am not alone in this, oh no! In truth, these beliefs are so often at the heart of the Black community. We hear it not only from the pulpit, but in Mother's Day tributes and awards luncheons and see it reflected at our jobs and in our families. There is this other voice in me though, the one that I inherited from my grandmother, Lady Buffington, as she calls herself. This is a woman who lives by the code: work smart, not hard. This is a woman who never hesitates to do what she pleases, when she pleases and fails to understand why the rest of us insist on working for anyone but ourselves. She is the penultimate "Boss Lady". I long to find balance between these two women, my mother and my grandmother. I long to be the kind of woman that Suze Orman talks about, a woman who gives from her overflow. In order to accomplish this, however, I have to relinquish my fear that abundance is evil. I have to relinquish the anxiety that accompanies my success.
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1 comment:

  1. flitMarch 15, 2009 at 4:36 PM

    I very much enjoyed reading your blog ...and will be adding it to my blogroll on Back to School for Grownups

    ReplyDelete

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