"You must be Lina"

I, like most of you, could write a book about my graduate school experience. There are a couple of stories that I usually tell and I will share one of them. My first semester of graduate school was very difficult. I was the first ever African-American in the department. In my cohort, I was the only person of color AND the only woman. So here I am, a tall, dark-skinned, dread-locked Black woman in a sea of White men. Needless to say, I stuck out like a sore thumb. Whenever I went somewhere on campus people would say, "Oh! Your from the Philosophy Department! You must be Lina!". I don't know if they sent out an announcement in a memo or something... Extra! Extra! Philosophy Department gets a new Negress, READ ALL ABOUT IT! No one seemed to recognize the peculiar nature of this greeting. I should have answered back, "No, my name is actually _____" If I gave a different name each time I could have confused the hell out of everyone and had the whole campus buzzing... Extra! Extra! Philosophy Department got a whole busload of Negresses this year, READ ALL ABOUT IT! I was not nearly as savvy, nor sarcastic, back then as I am now so I always responded, "Yes". Unfortunately my superstar status did not extend to my own department, where I was often treated like an alien from outer space. When I dared to open my mouth and speak in seminar everyone would stare at me blankly before moving on. A few minutes later someone might very well repeat the exact same thing that I just said as though it had not yet been stated. After awhile one of my peers took pity on me and decided to act as my translator. I would say something, "waaah, waaah, wah woh waaa" and he would translate, "What Lina just said was....". I kid you not, this is a true story (I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried). Now, this was quite a shock to my ego. I graduated Magna Cum Laude from Spelman College and I know I speak English! What I came to realize later was that my being there was such a shock to their worldview that they literally could not hear me. What was this Negro woman doing in a graduate level Philosophy seminar! The students were not alone; the largely elderly, White, male faculty did not really know what to make of me either. So how did I get through it? Like we all do, I suppose. I chose my battles, I stayed connected to communities where I felt safe and supported, and never lost focus of why I was there in the first place--TO GET A PHD! Not to have my intelligence or self-worth validated, but to get a PhD. Once I learned that these things were not one and the same, I learned how to be OK with myself in the midst of...